Friday, August 31, 2007

The "Miss USA is a twinkie" post.

What kind of self-respecting blogger would I be if I didn't post this?

Okay, so she's dumb as a stump. She's FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Aren't we expecting a little much to ask them to think deep thoughts?

There is nothing more powerful in this world than a beautiful white woman. It's our most valued commodity, for better or worse. I mean, this chick will never have to pay for a drink in her life. The world is her oyster. Does she really need intelligence TOO??? Can us poor smart but ugly people have something to call our own? Of course we can. How else can we snicker at her and tell ourselves how morally superior we are for being average looking but killer at Photoshop.

What I did over summer vacation...

So I've been asked where the hell I've been this month...

1. Was completely slammed at work and started to look like hell. Seems that working 18 hour days for three months has an effect on your face, meaning it looks like tuna fish. So I cut out everything that wasn't absolutely vital. All I did was work work work (and cruise celebrity blogs for updates on Britney Spears... I just can't look away).

2. I did actually take the family on vacation. We went to Washington DC. Saw dinos at the Smithsonian. Saw George Washington's dress jacket. The Bill of Rights. Hope diamond. Some art. You know the deal.

3. MOST IMPORTANT: I was having trouble finding stuff to actually bitch about! Karl Rove... GONE. Alberto V05 Gonzales... GONE. Republican Senator caught in sex scandal (as opposed to Democratic Senator)... when everything is going right for a change, what is there to bitch about?

A Clinton win is a two for one sale?

My wife thinks that having Hilary win would give us the added benefit of having Clinton back. I tend to think of the Bill Clinton years as a collection of missed opportunities. Would President Clinton #2 really be that great? I'm not so sure. I do give Bill a lot of credit for having the charisma to keep his female supporters in spite of his cigar fun. Above is a graphical representation of the Clinton/Clinton presidency as many see it, I assume. Personally, I don't think Hilary would even let Bill use the toilet in the White House, much less affect policy.

ADDED September 13: It appears that polls recently taken suggest that if she actually looked like above photo, her poll numbers would increase by 50%.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

It's Armageddon. Bruce Willis better get an MBA quick.

I don't really have any idea what this guy is going on about but, supercilious Brit that I am, I enjoy seeing American financiers get flustered about the state of your economy. They really do take it all so seriously.

Maybe they should a leaf out of the French worker's manual and take 10 weeks holiday a year to learn to chill out about it all.