From Russia With... ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?

"FATHER OF ALL BOMBS" tested in Russia.

Apparently Putin isn't above getting into a pissing contest with America for "dumbest superpower". For reasons completely inexplicable, Russia is spending time figuring out new and exciting ways to obliterate in even more astounding ways. They are proud to announce the successful test of a vacuum bomb, which unleashes a destructive shockwave with the power of a nuclear blast, the military said on Tuesday, dubbing it the "father of all bombs."

"Test results of the new airborne weapon have shown that its efficiency and power is commensurate with a nuclear weapon," Alexander Rukshin, Russian deputy armed forces chief of staff, told Russia's state ORT First Channel television.

Pictures showed what looked like a flattened multi-storey block of flats surrounded by scorched soil and boulders. "The soil looks like a lunar landscape," the report said.

"The main destruction is inflicted by an ultrasonic shockwave and an incredibly high temperature," the reports said. "All that is alive merely evaporates."

The report said the new bomb was much stronger than the U.S.-built Massive Ordnance Air Blast bomb -- MOAB, also known under its name "Mother of All Bombs." "So, Russian designers called the new weapon 'Father of All Bombs'," it said. Clever! LMAO! LOL! ROTFL! It seems the US has been having fun with these sort of bombs in our Middle East romp, and Russia wants to keep up.

Here's the kicker, folks:

Rukshin said: "At the same time, I want to stress that the action of this weapon does not contaminate the environment, in contrast to a nuclear one."

Hahahahaa... Heeeheeee.... YOU TURNED THE LAND INTO A LUNAR FUCKING LANDSCAPE! THIS WOULD ONLY BE ENVIROMENTALLY ACCEPTABLE ON.... I dunno... THE MOON????????

Now they will feel okay with dropping these bad boys under the reasoning that they arent creating nuclear fallout, so it's okay. Nuclear fallout is the only thing that's kept us from using more nukes up until now.

We will not stop until we have turned this planet into a desert. Luckily we'll have less fallout to contaminate our ashes.